One of the biggest questions I had before heading abroad was, “how will I meet people?”, despite the fact that whenever I read about someone backpacking around the world, they never failed to mention how easy it is to meet people. Common themes include how much common ground there is, how quickly it is that groups form, and how suddenly it is that you have friends upon arriving in a foreign country.
Yet, I still worried and wondered, because, after all, it can’t be that easy!
As it happens, it really is just as easy as all those articles say- but for the sake of easing the minds of others, here’s how meeting people in hostels works.
First of all, most everyone is in the same boat as you- they’re traveling alone in a foreign country. They want to meet people, and meet people fast so that they won’t have to explore the city alone. Also, they want to meet more people if they’ve already met people- the nature of backpacking is that no matter how great your group, people will leave.
It’s like Indiana Jones running down the hill with the boulder chasing after him- as a backpacker, you have friends, you have a group, you’re going out and doing stuff, exploring the city, living and enjoying life… yet, in the back of your mind, you know that half of the people you’re hanging out with will be gone in two days, and the rest in three. With that in mind you know you have to meet more people to prevent that boulder of crushing loneliness from rolling over you. You need to meet new people, constantly.
Fortunately, backpackers have developed a good system of meeting each other- The Five Questions, as referenced by A Map for Saturday.
So, where are you from?
How long are you traveling for?
Where have you been?
Where are you heading out to next?
What got you to start traveling?
It’s cliche’, it gets old within a matter of days, but it’s the slickest piece of social lubricant this side of whiskey.
Everyone asks the questions, everyone knows that they will be asked the questions, and everyone has mentally prepared an answer to each question. By asking any one of the five questions you’ll get to know enough about the other person to start a conversation in earnest. If the first question doesn’t provide any good conversational fodder, ask the next. And the next. And the next- trudge through it and eventually you’ll hit conversational gold.
Or, hypothetically, not. But every single time I’ve decided to meet someone I haven’t had to ask more than two questions before the conversation got started in earnest.
Just like meeting anyone, ask an open ended question, listen, and relate- at the end of your response, take the conversation in a more interesting direction, and, voila! You’ve met someone! Just ask for their name at some point and you’re set.
